My big boys went to pre school yesterday. They graduated from the speech/pre school program at the local elementary school. Well, Spencer still qualifies for just speech but I haven't heard when he will go.
Their new pre school is just down the street. Maybe a 4 minute walk. Sydney rode her bike and I pushed the babies in the double stroller pulling both boys 2 and from class. They loved it. Cameron informed me that, "Mrs. Angela is really nice. I like her a lot."
I was thrilled because Cameron was a little hesitant to go in by himself and said, "mama, you'll wait outside the whole time for me ?"
We were on our way home, Syd clear ahead of us and around the corner and almost home. I saw a huge fat cat run across the road to a house just ahead of us. Cameron said it was a dog. I didn't argue and figured we'd see it soon enough when we came up to the house. Sure enough. Big Fat Cat laying on the lawn basking in the sun already. Spencer walked up to it and it ran around a landscaped area. I explained that he needed to crouch down as to not scare it and call kitty kitty kitty....before I had even finished he walked up to it again scarring it around and in to the street....where a car just happened to be....didn't even slow down and we watched the cats head roll under the big front tires....fur flew...it's body rolled under the rest of the car.
It's hind legs continued a running motion as it laid on its back with it's head cocked back towards the road.
My babies started crying, mainly Ryan. It's as if they knew what had happened. I covered my ears....because that's what I do. I looked down the road at the car wondering if he would stop....if he would come back ? Who was going to help this cat ? Is there help for the cat ? He's still moving his legs? He needs to be put out of his misery ? Was it a female cat ? Was she pregnant ? Was it somebody's pet ? Somebody who loved it so much that it was all fat and happy ? Is it going to die ? Why won't it stop moving ?
I didn't want to walk over to it because I didn't know what to expect and I didn't want my kids to come with me. I didn't know if it was a stray cat with diseases....if it's guts were out on the other side.....I felt helpless and just stood there with my hands over my ears.
Right then a man emerged from the garage of the house we were standing in front of. I asked him if it was his cat ? Is this your cat ? he just looked at me. he wouldn't answer. Did he not see the cat in the street ? Did he hear me ?
"Was that your cat ?" I asked again. He shook his head no and continued on to the mail box. Not looking at the cat and I wondered if he was nodding his head at me standing there with my hands over my ears or if he was answering me.
I said to myself, "it's still alive"
He finally spoke and said, "you better get your kids out of here."
Now I just felt like a bad mother. Here I am standing here not moving while a cat is dying in the street. Probably the brain injury that it sustained is causing it's legs to run. And my kids are confused and watching the whole thing unfold.
I started walking and repeated, "oh no. oh no. that poor cat"
My mind jumped to Spencer's role in all of this. I certainly didn't blame him but I did feel like he had an innocent part in it. Will he realize it ? Will he feel bad ? Should I talk to him about it ?
The boys haven't mentioned the incident since.
The babies however keep bringing it up.
Ryan : "cat, car, head"
Nathan : "car ah bonk ah kitty"
Ryan : "bonk. head."
Nathan : "cat. ah broken"
I did mention to the boys as we walked away....that's why you don't play in the street. Cars are dangerous. They can hit and hurt or kill you.
Right after saying this it was time for us to cross the street. There was a car clear down the street. Spencer screamed and ran across the street ahead of us, "car ! car ! a car is coming !"
I suppose it was a good lesson.
I'm still sick. I just don't handle things like this very well.
When I was little my mom was driving late one night and hit a rabbit. She went back to check on it and it was still moving. She circled around and hit it again. She bawled the whole time. I was shocked and wondered why she ran over it the 2nd time ? Didn't she see it....AGAIN ? clearly she knew where it was ?
She told me that she had to put it out of it's misery. That it was hurting.
The strength and compassion she showed was painted on my brain that night.
I think of it almost every time I see a dead animal on the road or an animal who just escaped a near death experience. And I remind the heavens that I don't have the strength that my mother had that night....and beg to not be put in that situation. Luckily....I have not.
Today though, if I had a car.....I would have hit that kitty again. and I would have cried the whole time doing it.
Speaking of a car. Right now I'm carless :)
Baverly was sold and we are downsizing to a 8 passenger Odyssey.
We go to pick one up tonight. I hope it's a good car.
