Today is full of hope

Today I've run to the bathroom with both babies several times to go potty in the potty.

Today I plan on baking bread.

Today I hope is better than the last 3 days.

Today I'm a single mom.

Today I will shower.

Today I will not scream at my children.

Today I will go to bed before 11 pm.

Today I will survive.



Right at the beginning Spencer says, "Push hard and be brave."

Backstage Access

WHY. do little people. without diapers on. have to stick their fingers in their tooshka's ?
Seriously. It grosses me out. I can't really do anything about it either...because they are naked and potty training.   There should be no backstage access.   Their arms should have come shorter. 

Ryan pooped on the potty yesterday. Well, he started to poop on my bathroom floor and I swept him up and held him whimpering on the potty while he finished. Or so I thought.

(later at the Blanchard household)
Nathan comes running in to me with poop all over his leg. The front of his leg. It covered the lower shin to just above his knee. This was not his poop.  and by the look on his face he was upset and wanted no part of it.
I found what looked like a smooshed poop on the floor in the playroom and walked Nathan upstairs to put him in the tub. FOR THE 2ND TIME.  before steam cleaning the carpet.   As I was washing him I realized that he had poop all over his foot too. WHICH MEANS, that he was tracking poop all over my house while getting to the bathroom. UUUUUUUUUHHHHHH.

After I cleaned him off I went to find Ryan. He was brandishing a plastic screw driver.
You guessed it. Covered in poop.

You see, what had happened was.
Ryan pooped on the floor. Nathan stepped in it, lost his balance probably trying to see what he stepped in and then fell in it.
Ryan, after getting just the right tool for the job, came over and stuck his screw driver in the poop. Carried it over to the playhouse and began painting with it. After the large chunk of poop fell off of the screw driver to the floor he walked over to the train table (with a castle instead of a train on it) to what I'm guessing get the rest of the poop off of the screw driver. He had wiped it all down the table, stuck it in the hole in the top of the table which leads to a drawer full of blocks and also stuck it in several areas of the castle.
Guess what didn't happen ? It didn't get the screw driver all the way clean. But it sure got everything else plastered with poop.

Sadie ate the big chunk of poop in front of the playhouse. I steam cleaned and wiped everything else down.

he's alive. After that he put lotion all over his legs (caught him in the act) spilled his brothers milk all over the table, left a popsicle on his bed in my room where it melted for a few minutes before his older brother found it and finished it off and then he got the soap from the bathroom and covered his hair with it. (we keep it locked under the sink, but his older brother went to the bathroom and washed his hands with it and left it out.
Ryan had 3 baths yesterday.

sooooo, we had a bad day...I'm taking one down....I sang a sad song just to turn it around....I say I don't know...I tell you it's not a lie....I work at a smile then I go for a ride....we had a bad day.
(slightly different...but you know the song)

Titled, Book and Boots

.

Life Savers

My kids are still sick. We haven't been well since before Christmas and it's all wearing on me.


Sydney is home from school for her 2nd day today. I was certain that even without a voice she should still go. She started to cry when I asked her to get ready and when I brushed the hair off of her forehead I then realized she was fevered.

Yesterday I called to tell the super nice neighbor lady who has been picking Syd up for school and driving her that 1/2 block to help get her there on time to tell her not to come by.  She offered to drive back when Syd hated school and was late everyday. She and her girls would walk and on her way home passed Sydney clunking along, late.
It's also saved Syd walking in these freezing temperatures.

Around 9am yesterday morning my doorbell rang. It was the super nice lady.....she had a ziplock baggie and told me that, "when my girls are home sick they like to just sit around and play with playdough and relax" The bag consisted of 5 little playdoughs, the book, When you give a Pig a Party, a yoplait smoothie packet (just add milk) and bubbles. She said that having even one extra kid stay home throws the whole dynamics off and that she hoped this would help. (TOTALLY gets it)

That small gesture made my WHOLE DAY. What an amazing thing for someone to do. Something so incredibly thoughtful at a time in my life when locking myself in the garage seemed like the only answer. :)

I want to be that person. I want to help make people feel better when they are feeling terrible.

It's now on my New Years resolution list. I'm still working on the shower part of that resolution. I have to admit that there are people on facebook who change their profile pictures more often than I change my underwear. but I'm working on it.

In other news.
The babies continue to have no accidents while naked. getting them to wear underwear and clothes seems to be a whole other challenge.   Also not calling them panties is something else we need to work on :)
Nathan will be wearing a diaper and go take it off to go pee in the potty....but when in underwear or pants...he pee's almost immediately. He did one time run in underwear after leaving a silver dollar mark. Not bad.
Ryan hasn't pooped in the potty other than a little hershey squirt. I'm not pushing it. He has even gotten out of the tub to pee.
They are doing SO GREAT !
They still occassionally ask for a life savers after going. For the most part they are just proud to do it.
Love them !

I needed life savers this week.   Lots were given.   I am thankful.

This Moment Friday

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember

2 down - none to go ?

***updated***AGAIN !!!***
The babies have been removing their diapers for some time now.    I will pick them up sometimes and feel the non bulky cute little baby toosh in my hands.   They take their diapers off and put their pants back on :)
Sometimes I find out that they've done this too late...and they come to me with a tip toe straddle walk with wet pants.   
They sit on the toilet all of the time.  THEY LOVE THE TOILET.  mostly they love flushing it.  over and over AND OVER again.  (ugh)
Today I took their diapers off.   Told them they could run naked (Ryan wanted a diaper (?)WTH ) and if they needed to go potty, to go in the bathroom.   
I left the bathroom door not only unlocked but wide open.

Nathan came calling to me from the hallway....."mama, hurry, hurry, come on, hurry"
He was doing a bit of a dance...pinching his penis.   I jumped up and followed him.  Ready to stand him at the potty, listen to him give me some excuse why he didn't go and then want to flush the toilet.   
He decided to sit this time.     And sure enough HE PEED !
1st time EVER.   (he has peed in the bathroom, on the floor, in the tub but never on the potty)
We did the happiest potty dance.   The whole family joined in (- mommy J who is at work today)
Ryan felt left out and said...."mon mama, mon, mon mama"  I followed him back to the bathroom....he sat down...HE PEED !!
Another potty dance.   We gave both babies a lifesaver...because that's what I had in my cupboard left over from the kids Christmas lifesaver books....and I started randomly calling relatives and friends to share the good news. 

Since then they've both run to the potty with the same urgency, and have sat grunting (Ryan making fart sounds with his mouth and laughing) and then announcing, "all done".  Luckily I've managed to stop them from flushing each time :)
Maybe it was a fluke.  but maybe.  just maybe.  it's the beginning of a whole new world for us.

***update***
Ryan has gone 3 times, Nathan twice...once Nate went in all on his own and went. No accidents.
***update II***
NATHAN WENT POO POO IN THE POTTY !!!! He got up, didn't say a word, went in, sat down and pooped. I'm in shock and disbelief right now.

Cam vs Donkey Kong !

We have the Wii. J was a big skate boarder & snow boarder and loves her some beatles rock band......I had a blast conquering the Obstacle course and love some Just Dance and Michael Jackson.
Syd will play with us, she is currently the master at boxing (she can in fact kick anybody's ass...I don't care how good you are or how much you've practiced) same thing with bowling. It's a little weird...it must be her size or something...there has to be an explanation :)
We have tried to includ the boys and they will do the running and the boxing but get bored so easily with it and run off and play. although Nathan requests "punch mama. punch" whenever we would play...which isn't very often....up until now.

I got Donkey Kong Country Returns for Christmas. SO STINKING ADDICTIVE. I really struggle with it....I have stayed up until 1 am passing off worlds.
Cameron would watch us when we did play and one day we let them have a turn. Syd who's older and has the coordination to move and alternate 4-6 fingers at a time learned pretty easily. Cam picked it up faster than we thought and has now cleared the first board. Spencer has absolutely no desire to play.
We let Cam have a turn now because he asks and I suppose the whole idea behind getting the wii was to have family game night once in a while....but also...he's a CRACK UP to watch. He is so expressive from his face to his toes.
I was able to capture it on video. He was aware that the camera was there so his foot didn't leave the floor and kick waist high like it normally does (even if someone else is playing he physically plays along with you)
but he couldn't help stop his facial and a lot of the little jerks and movements that he makes in synch with Donkey :)
Enjoy ! Oh...the other 3 boys were extremely interested in the camera and also being on it....thus the shaking, walking in front of the camera and noise levels. so soddy !

This is him standing. Please excuse Spencer's finger tips...he wanted to see what they'd look like on video.


This is him sitting. I love watching his tongue and his feet...even after the babies turn the lights out as their last attempt at getting all of my attention. Not fazed at all.


J is holding out and wants to hide the camera....so that we can get his true ability to use the WHOLE space around him while playing on video! 
I love this kid.

Say what

Nathan : "Help mama"  hands me Spencers foam disk shooting gun and only some of the pieces that are required to make it shoot.
Mama : "Nathan, I need this piece" pointing at the gun, "in order for this to shoot."
Nathan : "ok mama, ok" Nathan walks away in search of the missing piece.  Turns around and says, "mama, don't touch it.  ok.  don't. touch it."

hmm.

Spencer in my shower, singing while squeegeeing off the glass "We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine.    Me gonna clean, the yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine.  Me gonna wipe off the yellow submarine and we all have a Merry Christmas."

Cameron and Spencer playing on my bedroom floor.    Cameron takes his bakugon and shoots Spencers bakugon and celebrates, "ah HA ! you're dead Spencer.  I killed you !"
Spencer quickly responds, "No Cameron.  I love you.  So you can't kill me."
Cameron, "ok"

Sydney running to her room where her 2 older brothers have locked themselves in screams, "What Are You Doing In My Room ?"  Nathan and Ryan follow in order to catch the action.   Sydney turns around to open the gate to release the older now trapped and frightened big boys and says in disgust.  "Nathan, get your penis off of my gate....ewwww"
Nathan had removed his diaper to try and go in the big boy potty and had been naked running through the house.  Oh who am I kidding, they take their diapers off to eat, play, sleep.  whenever they feel like it really.
Janice and I were doing our chores in the other room and looked at each other and laughed after hearing that.    

Drama Queen ! Skit I and II

Last night Sydney bumped her knee on her brothers bed. I don't doubt for a minute that it didn't hurt.
After tucking the boys into bed I walked into Syd's room to read and found her wrapping her knee with an ace bandage.
She is also the one that will fall and once up will limp as if her foot/leg/hip (pick an appendage) is broken.

We went to the Tree House Museum. It's this great local museum that is geared completely around imagination. I love this place. Any ways....they have a theater room and on certain days they do an impromptu play where they select characters out of the audience and while telling the story allow the cast to act it out.
Friday was our first time experiencing the Castle Theater but Syd was excited and we quickly found our seats. The director/story teller was so stinking funny and made it such a great experience.
The play they performed was, "Blanca Flor" which I believe (he said) translates to White Flower....which could also be skin as white as snow or Snow white. Spanish version.
He picked characters first and called for volunteers. Sydney's hand flew up. I was a little amazed because although loud and normally not shy....once she's asked to stand up in front....she quickly becomes shy. but she raised her hand for the lead role of the wicked step mother. Her role was the only one he asked to be auditioned for. Each girl had to stand up and throw a tantrum. seeth. scream. act like a wicked step mother.
Syd was picked hands down.

After the casting was done he laid out the story. While he was telling the story.....the rest of the cast was standing and listening. Not my Syd. She was expressing her hatred for the princess (when he got to that part) she was sticking her nose in the air and showing her vain overly proud side (each time he spoke of her character) basically, she killed it. (for a first timer in an impromtu play I mean :)
She spoke clearly and loud. She stayed in character for the most part. SHE. is a drama queen. and a pretty good actress I must say.

My sister in law was with us and seemed bewildered that we were so surprised by this. :)
What ? Next you'll ask me who she gets it from....right ? ah fushup.

sorry, phone camera quality picture

As to not leave the boys out...we performed another skit today. Similar to the 3 stooges, only in this one there were 4 stooges.

Cast : Playing the part of the stooges in alphabetical order. Cameron, Nathan, Ryan and Spencer.

Scene
I was playing trains on the floor with Cam. The other 3 boys soon jumped in and wanted to play. Things went downhill pretty quickly.
It went something like this; Nathan wanted Ryan's train piece. Ryan wanted Ryan's train piece. Nathan took Ryan's train piece. Ryan threw a train directly at Nathan's head. (geo trax train. I estimate it weighed nearly 10lbs, ok maybe not..but it would still hurt like heck to be hit with one) with lightening fasts reflexes I deflected it with my hand, kind of like the car crash in the blind side....and it missed his face but hit his arm. Nathan started crying. Spencer who was behind Ryan watching it all happen then hit Ryan's back. Ryan starts screaming at which point he turns around and sees Cameron sitting there....assuming it was he who hit him in the back....hits Cam. Cameron looks up from his train, who up until now probably didn't know that anyone had hit anyone and he hits Ryan for hitting him.

All the while I'm saying, Ryan, don't thro...Spencer, no! why would you....Ryan, it wasn't even Cam who hit...Cameron, please....would everybody STOP HITTING !
And then I picked Ryan up, put him in my lap and started laughing hysterically.

If they don't thank their mother in their acceptance speeches, I'm kicking some tooshka.

This Moment Friday

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a  moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment  I want to pause, savor and remember.

Praise or Punishment ?

Cameron, in a fit of rage over a bowl of dry cereal (which he requested for lunch) vs. a peanut butter and jelly (which his brother Nathan requested for lunch) ended with his bowl full of honey bunches of oats aka honey and a whole bunch of small tiny little flakey pieces of oats that couldn't possibly be picked up with even the smallest pincer grasp, all over the floor.

I told Cameron to clean it up. He sat under the table and cried. He put a couple of handfuls in the bowl. I told him to get the vaccum cleaner and get it all up. He cried harder.

Spencer jumped up, went down the hall and got the vaccuum, brought it to the kitchen, unraveled the cord and plugged it in. At which point I was trying to decide if making Cameron clean up his own mess....the kid who NEVER cleans up after himself....Who when told to clean lets his siblings (including the babies) clean while he gets lost playing with whatever it was that he picked up to put away. He is TERRIBLE.
Or, do I let Spencer do a kind deed. He was serving his brother and trying to make him feel better.

What to do ? What to do ? Follow through with my original request letting Cameron know that I don't mess around and give in or let Spencer be a hero and set a good example of brotherly love and compassion and be praised for it.
It was a tough decision. but in the end I let Spencer vaccuum because although the sweet gesture only slightly pursuaded me....it was the fight I would ultimately have with Cam following through that would have been super exhausting, that broke the tie. :)
Hey. When you see a window of opportunity.....don't pass that up.

and as you can see....Cam did use the tube thing to play clean.

OH and I just remembered. Spencer also wanted a PB&J and was ALSO told that he had to finish his cereal that he too requested before getting one. He ate it and was ready for a sandwhich. I made him one. Cameron who was super hungry, who's lunch had been sucked up and thrown away...was crying for a sandwhich. I told him that I wouldn't make him a sandwhich unless he ate his cereal first and he chose to throw it on the floor.
I did then say, "if Spencer wants to share his sandwhich with you Cam....that's up to him."
and Spencer did.
And then I gave them both graham crackers, milk and a movie for quiet time/nap time....because I'm not a monster. geesh.

He says it, he wears it !

Nathan will request, "bloots mom.  bloots"  It's the cutest thing EVER...now that I understand what it is that he wants.
Ryan just wears them.  and sometimes nothing else.  :)

Doing Creative Time !

When Sydney gets in trouble and sent to her room she mostly spends her time writing stories or coloring. Writing signs and names on tape that she later sticks to the wall or backs of the person that matches the name. She'll make "I'm sorry" cards for the one she's wronged. :-) and sometimes she makes "just because cards".

Like this one for instance.

The front

inside

The back

Sweet right. Rainbows and stars, great coloring and all of the little details.
I guess I should add that J is a U of U fan.
I like the way she carefully with a subtle touch, sticks it to J for putting her in time out - don't you ? :-)

It's been 8 days since Ryan has had anything to eat. Eight.  He has licked a few items of food but won't eat them.  He isn't dehydrated so that's a plus. 
This kids lips would even make Angelina Jolie jealous.   There are ulcers lining the inside of his lips, coating his cheeks and around his tongue.    His gums bleed and are swollen up around his teeth.    He has dried blood under his binky and all over my pillowcases and yesterday morning he woke up with a little blood in his nose.    This kid is so sick.  
2 more days.   ugh.   I hope this is one of those things his mind chooses to black out and erase.  He has been in so much pain this last week.     He watched me cut out sugar cookies for about 5 minutes without crying.  he was very much on the brink a few times....I wanted to capture a great moment with all of my kids...and then I left to get the camera.   Poor little thing.