Saying goodbye. again.

Our sweet Lucille died today.   We are still unsure as to what happened and shocked and sad.  They typically live 10, even 14 years.
She was not acting right and feeling well last night and this morning was much worse.
I took her to an exotic animals hospital and by the time I got her there and they took her back she had passed.

I know she's a lizard and she was Sydney's....but I did most of the work (as is the case with most young kids and pets) and grew quite fond of her.   I stood in the vets office (no charge), the vets assistant asked what I wanted to do with her, I told her that I wanted her back and when she left, as hard as I tried, a lump grew in my throat and tears filled my eyes.
I held it together but when I got in the car and laid her on my lap (in a towel) and called to tell Jan...I lost it.   I couldn't hide the quivering in my voice when I talked about what happened and had to wipe tears from my cheeks. :(   I was sad for Sydney,  I knew how hard this was going to be for her.   and I think that post trauma thing from putting Sadie down just recently came back too.

Sydney had a birthday party to go to after school today and as luck would have it went home with her which helped us keep it from her so that she would enjoy her time with friends.  and she did.
When she came home we had moved Lucilles cage out of her room and cleaned up some of her things...we walked her to her room and she looked around and said, "what. what is it ?  where's Lucille ?"  I told her that she died and she started to cry and came over for a hug.  
We found a nice place to bury her in the backyard.   The boys weren't aware or invited to our little ceremony.  (mainly because we didn't want it disturbed later) and the 3 of us said one last goodbye to Lucy.

Afterwards, Syd got in the tub and I heard her crying hard...the ugly cry, and then I cried.  because she was crying.  and now I'm teary because I'm typing it.
All because of a LIZARD !   What the heck people.
Any ways.   Syd is asleep.   She told me that she would miss her red lights at night...they helped her sleep.  and that she always loved it when she woke up at night to see her there.   That is right before she would come into my room and climb in bed of course. (another story another day maybe)

Goodbye sweet Lucille.   We are all going to miss you.

A year ago, when we first got Lucy

First week of school is behind us

First week of school down.   39+ weeks left.
As far as I'm concerned....the first week was a success.

Funny story.   We were asked to send a snack for the first couple of weeks for the boys.   Something to help them transition into full days at school.    I packed their lunches and then put some crackers in a separate baggie in the side of his backpack fully explaining that their lunch is for lunchtime and their crackers were for snack time.
Cameron ate his lunch and snack for snack time and then got himself hot lunch for lunch time.   WTH. :)
He apparently needs a bigger snack.  
Spencer felt bad that he didn't get hot lunch so the next day I let them all have hot lunch.   Today I packed their lunches and again repeated that, "your snack (Cameron) is in the side pocket of your backpack (Cameron) this is your lunch (Cameron) to be eaten at lunchtime."

Sydney wrote this card for me and surprised me over the weekend.   She even had J help make me a morning smoothie.
These kind of things bring such balance when it comes to my Syd.    She's pretty amazing.

I will have 2 hours today.   2 full hours.   I imagine my time spent buying birthday presents and cleaning the house.   J's family is coming over for dinner tonight and the kids are so excited.   They love their California cousins.

Well. I played baseball with my little boys and in turn played fetch with Lilly, blogged and simultaneously ate breakfast (clearly I'm a multi tasker) I suppose I should get out of my pajamas and be productive now.

First Day of 1st grade

The big boys started first grade today.  Syd started yesterday.
FINALLY...sheesh.  Are we the very last to start school ?
It feels like everyone has posted first day pictures for weeks.

They all seem to like their teachers.   I've only met the boys' and both seem to be very nice.
The other FANTASTIC thing is.....Cam's teacher is mentoring Spencer's teacher, so most of their classwork and schedules are the same.   :)   That will make it a LOT easier for this mama.

Everyone was SUPER excited to go today.   They left 37 minutes early for school, and that was after forcing them to take one more picture, just one more picture.

Cameron, Spencer, Sydney, Nathan and Ryan
1st, 4th and pre K

my kids being my kids :)

photo bomb

Syd's first day was yesterday.  

Walking her to school

Summers End

I'm going to say something.   I'm going to say it out loud.   I mean, this could be really big and by saying it I could be jinxing all of it.  Seriously, the balance and rotation of all things normal could be thrown into a frenzy of events leading to the same situation that once was.
Here goes.  (deep breath)
I'm not looking forward to school starting this year.  (hands now covering my head...panicking...waiting for the roof to fall in on me...slowly peeking through squinched eyes)
(sigh) nothing happened.

I have had the best summer with my kids.   You may remember how previously I couldn't wait until the kids were in school. here.  Going back to school always won out.   It was harder to have them home all day and that just isn't happening this year.   Which means.  WHICH MEANS PEOPLE.  That it's getting easier.  (dope...I did it again...I used my inside voice)
Now, if you want to think about it this way......you could say that the kids are getting easier.
OR.  you could say that the hardships of school are getting worse.   I mean...I will have 2 more lunches to pack.   I will have more homework and from, now, 3 teachers.  (the boys are in different classes this year...happily)
It's been nice flying by the seat of our pants.   We've done lots of traveling and visiting and camping.
Bedtime has been slipping and the idea of getting back on a schedule also read as -  making sure everyone is dressed by 8:20 am and fed every morning is going to pinch me in the soft part under my arm a little bit.

I'm going to miss my big boys being gone all day too.   I liked having them around for the afternoons when they were in kindergarten.   They were fun...and helpful....and easy.

I guess what I'm saying is.   don't expect another dumb video of me dancing like an idiot because I'm getting a few more hours without my soon to be first graders.  :-(
You can expect one next year when the littles go to kindergarten though, for SURE.

\

P.S. my little boys start pre school today.  2 hours might just be enough.  :-)

There are always two sides to sensorything

The only good thing about knowing about the sensory issues my kids have....is knowing about the sensory issues my kids have.
I still sometimes have to step back and survey to realize that situations or the behavior over situations are due to sensory overload/underload.

We went to the Newport beach this past week.   We have been to the beach before.  a couple of times it was good and a couple of times it wasn't so great.
This last visit to the beach had the potential of going both ways.  and it did.

Syd -  Remember my clothing averted child.  The one who wore sweat pants/leggings (sometimes not always jeggings) for 80% of the school year last year.   The child that gets so overloaded with certain things like lotion after bath time that it sends her spiraling down into the pits of a fiery hell.  (dragging the rest of us kicking and screaming along with her most times)   
Syd went to the beach with good spirits and good intentions.    She was so excited to run crashing into the waves and wanted to try a boogie board for the first time.    And it was all good.   The first few waves were a hit.  and then not so much.

I just saw it as her irritable, difficult, much like her mama, mood swing side.   She came out of the water crying.   She was wet and sandy and sticky and cold.   She wanted to go home.   She hated the beach.  She hated the seaweed.   She was mad at our friends teenage boys because they told her that they saw a shark.   She Was Done.
I took deep breaths and each time she looked away and I made eye contact with my friend I would roll my eyes, making sure that everyone knew how over her dramatic nature I was. which I was.
After much pleading J was able to convince Syd to walk down the beach to a rocky area to look for hermit crabs.   I stayed back with the little boys.

Ryan -  Ryan was covered in sand the second we unloaded chairs and took off our flip flops.   He walked in the water with J and hit a couple of waves and then immediately sat down and started dumping sand over his legs and running his arms through it.    For the rest of our day at the beach he was nearly covered in sand. He would just lay on it like it was the most comfortable pillow top bed ever.   He was in heaven.

Syd and the gang came back and Syd was in better spirits.   She headed back to the water and helped her brothers catch sand crabs.   She was handling things.   and at that very moment the idea of her being on sensory overload crashed over my head like the wave that took out Jan earlier.
I was able to understand how it must feel to her sensitive skin, to have sticky sand and a wet swim shirt stuck to her.   There was nowhere for her to go.....EVERYTHING had sand on it.   The chairs, the towels, the crackers.   There was no getting away from it.   I felt terrible for not seeing it.   I felt like a completea jerk for not being more sensitive and empathetic to her.  
Normally when we swim (at a pool or water park) we bring extra clothes for Syd to change into because she can't handle the feeling of her wet clothes in the car.   Jan had packed some clothes for her after telling Syd to pack some, as a precaution to halt any impending tantrums later on if Syd forgot. (you live and learn) Jan forgot to pack that bag. aaand Syd forgot as well.  She was still sticky (beach showers can only do so much) She was now hungry. Tired.  Cold. and still wet.  any one of those things normally could send her spiraling.  All she wanted to do was to go back to the house and shower.   She didn't want to move from her seat.  She was miserable.  but she did.   She got out of the car and ate pizza, freezing in the park because nobody else wanted to drive home on an empty stomach.  She made the best of it.   She put on a smile and held it together.   I'm so proud of her.

2 completely different experiences at the beach.   Both involving sensory issues.  Each one being at either end of the spectrum.
I don't think that I could have handled having another Ryan.....his need for sensory stimulation has been a nightmare :)  but I sure wish that Syd didn't have such a sensitivity to it.
I'm glad we had our day at the beach.   It was great.

and P.S.  there were in fact baby tiger sharks....in the shallow end...very visible.
yip...that might send me running for shore in tears at 9 years old.

Well we knew she was smart.
It took me all of 3 minutes and Lilly quickly learned how to sit and lay down.
I'm certain I could have had her shaking, rolling over and dancing by noon, but decided to stick with these 2 until they are ingrained a little more.   Next up.  Stay !  and also...come.  and also come back.  and also stop running out the front door like a speeding bullet - down the street - back through the neighbors yard on to the other street.  and last but not least, stop eating other dogs poop.

I now present Syd, teaching a young dog new tricks

August Birthday's in the park

Presents

Popsicles 

Mom and her boys

Playing with Molla