This moment Friday

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember

Follow through failure.

I constructed a chart full of all of the responsibilities that these little people should be doing and most importantly, are able to do.
I wrote our family rules down.  
Monday night we had a pizza party picnic on the floor and I explained the rules and the chores chart.   

read day - ready for the next day

Stars are given if everything has been accomplished for that time period.    I left an extra area for going above and beyond at the bottom.    Both Spencer and Sydney have earned that star already.
At the end of the day the stars are added to each persons monthly grand total.
Stars can be used for privileges such as TV time and computer time.
30 min. of TV - 1 star (there is a maximum of 1-2 stars a day)
15 min. of computer time (the older three will play starfall and go to disney.org for games) - 1 star
At the end of the month we will choose an activity: Swimming, movie, jump house...etc. and each child has to have 20 stars in order to go.   Activities that we normally do...but now they are having to earn them

Thus far in the past 3 days, my children have watched a grand total of 30 min. of TV.   Syd even less than that.
They haven't been on their computer at all.
Sydney has been early to school for 3 days.  (15-20 minutes early)
Cam had a hard day yesterday and only earned 1 star, but I told him today is a new day and he could earn 3 stars easy.

Rules
This is one that I now see where I was failing.    My follow through was HORRIBLE.   I know this because my entire 1st day was spent following through and I never stopped.   It's slowly getting better and I owe it all to follow through.
I chose to use the positive time out.    The one where you just remove the child from the situation.  redirect.  etc.     It wasn't stopping the behavior.   My little boys want to cry.   They need to be sat on a step and made to stay there for 3 minutes (a minute for every year that they are old)
It kills them and has almost STOPPED the physical abuse that they inflict almost non stop on each other.
The time that I've had to take away from dinner, cleaning, helping another child...etc..is horrible when you are following through and have 5 kids.    Good night nurse.
But I have to say.....I can see the difference.   I can see change.

Some of our rules include valuing everyone in our family.   girls will be treated the same as boys.
Privacy.  knocking before entering.   not keeping "bad" secrets.
Respecting everyone.  no name calling.  no tattling unless someone is in danger.  no physical abuse.
Hugging goodbye.   tell the truth.  joyful heart.   ask for forgiveness and also give it. use manners always try our best. always know we are loved.

I took a piece of paper and a pair of scissors and yelled "you're stupid" and "I hate you" at the paper.   Each time I'd cut slices into the paper.    The bottom of the paper was pretty shredded and then I said, "I'm sorry paper"   I looked up at my kids with a confused look and said, "it's not fixing the cuts"    So I repeated "I'm sorry" several more times and finally explained that even though you say sorry...those words can't be taken back.   They hurt people and sorry doesn't take them back.  They shouldn't be said.
WOW this made a huge impact on my older 3.   They totally get it now and I haven't heard more than 2 words since monday.   HUGE PEOPLE !  HUGE !

There are rules for me and J too.   Not just chores in the house but patience and caring.    The no hitting rule goes for us too.    Nobody in our house hits, this includes tooshey smacks and swipes to the back of the head. :)  Computer time and iphone time for us is limited to nearly nothing.   I'm using my time for this and that's it unil after they are asleep.
I'm trying to stick to 30 minutes through out the day.    J can't get on her i-phone when she gets home until after the kids are in bed.  1 1/2 hours...she can handle it.  :)

Monday night we have Family game night and Friday nights are movie night.  

I'm back to using my 1-2-3 magic book. (I haven't checked out the DVD yet) and mixed with the written rules and follow through it's working it's magic.
(sigh)  
This is MUCH harder people.   Much harder than sitting on my buttocks or doing my house work and screaming at my kids for being nightmares.    
I have a hopefully heart and no more time allowed for the computer.
Wish us all luck !

Finding Janko

which could either be a play on Waldo or Nemo really.   Both are slightly applicable.  However not really creative.   sorry.

Seriously people.   I need help.
I was making cookies for Syd and had just pulled a batch out when she got home from school.  (true story...I'm not making this up...I do actually make cookies for after school sometimes)
After we caught up and went over school stuff I placed another batch in the oven and went to my bedroom to make sure we were Tivo'ing the Ellen show.  You know, the one that I was just on.
I turned the TV on.  it was like 3:42 pm   changed the channel to 4 and holy mother of mary.   It's Ellen.  Talking to Sophia Grace and Rosie.    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.   It started at THREE not at FOUR.
FRIGGITY FRACK HOW WILL I EVER LOOK FOR MYSELF IN THE AUDIENCE AS PROOF THAT I WAS IN FACT THERE.   GEEZE !
WHY don't I watch more TV.   I don't and that is the first reason I should have CHECKED on the show time.   dumb girl.

I called J and gave her the glum news.   She was disappointed and had mentioned a few people said that they did in fact see us.  Or thought they saw us in that flicker of an audience shot they do.   Which only made me feel worse about the whole friggin thing.   Cause maybe I looked SUPER great on TV.
J mentioned how she had TiVo'd it but set it to record the show at 4pm.
and I sat there for all of 2 seconds still depressed thinking....WAIT ! you can't TiVo something that's on and request a different time for it to record.  duh.   J.  
Apparently we both know a few stupid human tricks.   ta da !

After putting the kids to bed we went downstairs and checked the TiVo.  Sure enough.  There it was and there....J was.  Well that's all I saw the first time I would pause and rewind and pause and rewind to make sure there wasn't some different angle I was missing.   yip.   I was missing.

And then the blocking me lady sat down and I was STILL hiding.   and what the hell is blue arrow doing with her face in both pictures ?   I think we caught her in a sneeze.   look at them one after another and then say...aaaah.  and then prmmmph....like she held in the achooo part.    You see it right.
Best case scenario for her any ways.

2 people away.   TWO PEOPLE !   cooooo-ullll ! She's just so little.   I look really happy.  and clappy.  kind of squinty.  but super tall.

this picture is titled elderly avoidence

J whistling.  I'm saying something super cool and hip to the girl next to me and she's politely looking away wishing the old lady next to her would just shut up.   notice the direction in which her eyes follow the yellow arrow.  clearly away from me.   Or maybe I was telling her something super hip and cool about the lady that the arrow is pointing to.   That's how I'll remember it.   aaah.  such wonderful memories I make.  up.
Moving on.

Best (and by best I mean closest and clearest...oh my heck it really is you) shot of the day.   Look how happy J looks for that dumb 23 year old who was from UTAH no less.   Her name was Kamille.  With a K.   blah.
It's a good thing the camera didn't show my face.   It would have been clear I felt cheated out of a chance to win 500.00 on a gas card.  

There you have it.   Proof.   and a little bit of fame.
Oh and also.   I posted a video of the 2 cuties from commercial break and it's now private.   I hope she opens it back up....it was great.   That Sophia is a rock star.  :)

Ellen !

Ok so.....I didn't get on stage :(
They didn't do any stupid human tricks and I'm CERTAIN that had they included them I would have been stupid enough.   
They did have a game on the show and the 2 girls that were picked were cute little 20 something girls and it wasn't until that moment that I hadn't considered myself not in their same "goup".
I also had a moment of clarity when the 2 people sitting next to us through most of the process smiled at me politely when I was shootin' the crap as if to say...."I wish my mother would stop talking to us"
(sigh)

Guests !   I KNEW THEM !   
Kirsten Dunst and Sophia Grace and side kick.  

My experience.
It was mostly just sit sit sit around.  And then it was line up, walk, stand, walk, mostly stand, in line.   And then we were sat.  You had to scream and cheer...louder dang it....NO LOUDER.  and I was tired (and old) and just wanted to relax and enjoy the ride at that point.
We got good seats, but I don't think any seats in the theater would be bad.   We sat a few rows up on the stage side.    Other than a few times that the camera was in our way our view of everyone was fabulous.
Ellen is TEENY !   TEENSY TINSEY LITTLE ITTY BITTY thing.    Like, she's short and she's SKINNY.   And not just skinny, petite.  Little tiny thing.
She looks amazing and it was CRAZY to see her in real life.   Surreal crazy to be 2 seats from her rockin it out in the aisle.
Kirsten Dunst made me mostly feel bad for her.
The 2 little girls, Sophia Grace and Rosie, stole the show (Again) and were CRAZY cute.
Oh and when we left the show we were walking along the sidewalk of the WB studios headed back to the parking lot and who should drive by, honk and wave.   Ellen.   In her silver little porsche.  
Kinda cool.   She got the heck out of there man.

Also.   No free stuff.  :(   Not even a t-shirt.
Still.....it was a really fun experience.    We chose to drive back to our hotel in rush hour traffic rather than party it up in Burbank, caught a quick dinner and then went to bed.   You know.  cuz we're all old and shit. 

The show airs today by the way.

The circle of my life !

Now singing you turn me right round baby right round like a record baby right round, round round.
Only because I love this song and circles go round and it replaces the damn disney circle of life song that has been playing in my head since writing the title.

I know you can all imagine this....I am certain that I am not the only one who does this.

Circle infinity
I clean my bedroom, dust, vacuum, make the bed. I head to the bathroom wiping up left over soap and toothpaste. Cleaning the little hand prints on the mirror, the pee all over the toilet. I then move on to the little peoples room.

Ryan and Nathan go in my room and mess up my bed having a pillow fight. pull out my boots from my closet, drag toys from the basement and play with them on my floor. One goes to the bathroom....the other follows. They decide to brush their teeth. nuff said.

I finish making their beds and putting shoes and jammies away and move on to the office.

They head to their room and climb back into their beds and under their covers...giggling and playing sleep time and then hide and seek. They drag out socks and shoes and pull jackets and hats off of the wall.

I dust and sweep the office and head to the living room.

Nathan and Ryan now head to the office chair and roll it to the kitchen cabinet. Climb up getting a box of crackers out. They take it back to the office where they dump it out on the desk. Crumbs from the bottom of the box spill out all over the desk, chair and floor.

Once I finish dusting and sweeping the living room I head to the kitchen. Both boys are under my feet and in my fridge. Everything they pull out I'm putting back in the fridge, the drawers and the dishwasher. What could have taken a few minutes has now taken me most of the day and the thing that sucks is.......the house is a disaster and needs to be cleaned.

I start over in my room, putting my bed back together and throwing my boots back on the rack.....

Nathan and Ryan go downstairs.   Dang.   I haven't even STARTED downstairs.

Now. I know there are those who say....NO TV. and you know what. I'll send these 2 to your house so that they don't watch TV while I get my house cleaned. Deal ?!

Thing is. Even when I do turn on the TV so that I can get something done....they still manage to make a mess. I swear if these two were paid for what they do, we'd be FILTHY rich. get it. filthy. and rich.
whatever.
I don't have time to explain my play on words. I'm too damn tired and I have to go make my stinking bed.

I took exactly 2 pictures of my kids on Halloween. As far as the queen of memories....I was a complete failure this year.

Trick or treating at our neighbors house.   They LOVED the spider decorations.

Covering only our block, Ryan had already gone home to eat candy. Cam had been asking since Ryan went home to go home and after this picture was taken....Syd wanted to go home. She took Cam by the hand and bee lined for our house.
Nate and Spencer were holding strong and made it 2 more houses before calling it quits (ok, I called it quits :)
Everyone was asleep by 7:45 pm.
Pictured : left to right, Spencer, Mason, Sydney, Henry, Cam, Nate, Max

The candy fairy did as was threatened and took all but the 5 pieces of candy they each picked out and hid in the fridge...because we all know that fairy's can't smell or see through fridges.
They've had exactly 1 piece each and haven't asked for more. (contented sigh) SO glad to be done with Halloween.

The house is back to normal.    J gets home tonight. and I have exactly nothing that needs to be done. I think I'll sit for a while :) oh but first I need to clean up the crackers in the office.

Nature

Cameron just told me that I can leave the doors to the TV room open tonight. (they are across from his bedroom and he's always had us close them at night)  He said he knows that Aliens aren't real and he's not afraid anymore.
I love it that he was able to come to this conclusion and share it with me.
Cameron is the odd one out in so many ways.    Besides of course the obvious blond hair blue eyes.  He has such a mellow laid back personality.   I have NO idea where it comes from.....neither the donor nor myself contributed to it...that's for sure.

Yesterday the boys were having a Halloween Party at their hip hop class.    Spencer ran downstairs to grab some plastic halloween buckets that they have been playing with for a few weeks.   Each child had one originally.   I've counted 3 left.  1 is broken.
Spencer brought up 2, 1 of which was the broken one.    Spencer sadly admitted that there were only 2 left and one of the ones he had was broken.   I assured him that there was another one....but he disagreed and said, no...these are the only 2.   He then turned to Cam and said, "this one is mine"  grabbing the one with the unbroken handle.
Already headed down the stairs to find the non broken bucket to break up the fight I was sure would ensue after Spencers announcement I hear Cam say, "ok Spence"
I did find the other bucket.  And it wasn't broken.   but he could have cared less.

Each one was brought up in the same house under the same guidance and order.   
Each one of my kids has been given more or less the same choices and consequences.
But I can guarantee that if the tables would have been turned....and Cameron would have declared the unbroken bucket to be his.....all hell would have broke loose and Spencer would have cried until I either found the other bucket or fixed the one he had. 
(I say this with the supported evidence of past experience...however, to be fair both Spencer and Cameron are SUPER sweet and Spencer has shown compassion and understanding on a number of occassions)

Like many parents with wonderfully obedient children.   I'd like to take most of the credit for his behaviors and choices. 
But alas.   I can only look at how different each of my 5 children are and admit that I have little to do with it.   
He his who he is and my job is just to continue offering him vegetables and fruits in hopes that one day he'll eat them.

I'd like also to take credit for how competely handsome he is.   but as he has no real resemblance to me....I just have to give that one up to mother nature as well.  :)

Sixth sensory for $4.99

This was mostly for my Cam man dude....who still hates to be sticky and has a hard time touching things like glue, paint and slime.   :)
I've heard about these awesome hidrogems and wanted to give them a try.    We found these at JoAnne's craft store for $4.00.    
They are squishy and super slippery.  They can be broken pretty easily but MY kids played with them and we didn't have any broken ones.
Well.  We decided to freeze them as an experiment as they are made mostly of water to see how they would freeze...and then we let them thaw in our hands.   The kids got a little too anxious squeezing the hard frozen balls and as they quickly melted down, defrosting to their original soft balls they were broken into little pieces and thrown away.   Still fun to do.
MUCH more fun than the cockroach we froze and then waited to come back to life in St. George.  Which by the way....didn't happen.   Nope.  They die.  

What I loved was to sit back and watch how true to personality each and every one of my kids were while playing.  

Syd made patterns with hers

Nathan put his in jail.  Those two are in jail on his lid.

When Ryan wasn't making a mess with his....he would make a train and choo choo them around his lid.
Cameron immediately started playing, writing his story with each one in his own make believe world.

Spencers were babies and promptly put to sleep.

Such fun little water balls.

This sensory time lasted almost an hour with all 5 of my kids.
GOOD times people !  Good times.