**lightbulb**

I looked over my shoulder and saw these 2 beautiful boys and a lightbulb went off.

They are absolutely perfect.   I have said that my children are the spawns of Satan so much that I started believing that it applied to all of them.  I mean they are all same donor siblings, one could only assume that they all had the big D as daddy.
The fact is, only 3 of them are.  1 confirmed through blood work.  :)

I have also said that twins suck.   I have questioned anyone who says differently.    Why would anyone want twins ?  It's as simple as that.   They are stinking hard.  Nothing good can come from more than 1 child at a time.

Guess what ? For the 3rd time in my life.I was wrong.
I want twins.  I want THESE twins.   These twins ROCK !
They are sweet and sensitive and will always sit in my lap and cuddle.
They play together and nicely most of the time.     And if they don't they'll play alone....for hours....without getting in trouble at all.   They will also play with a rock if it's the only thing in the room.   SUCH imaginations these two have.    They are genuinely nice and I see it in the way that they talk to each other and their brothers and sister.  
They don't pour milk on my floor or break eggs or put gel in their hair (anymore).      They aren't overly dramatic.   They get over stuff quickly.      
They sleep like angels.  Going to and staying asleep.

I seriously have tears in my eyes right now posting this.    I don't know if it's my period or finally seeing the light.    I've been walking around with my eyes closed for so long trying to survive all of them, who knows when the doors opened and the light came through.   
These 2 boys are the most amazing and loved little people IN THIS WORLD.
I love their whole little guts out.   Every last bit of them.

And I'm so sorry boys.   I'm so sorry that your mom is a nut case every month.    I'm so sorry that your sisters clothing aversions and your baby brothers messes and your mom's hormonal imbalances are taken out on you time after time.
I owe you big time guys.  
If you'll let me get a good Christmas card picture, Incredible Pizza here we come.   I promise.   You have to smile though....and look at the camera.  ok ? 
I love you.
Love mom.

Sydney

I had to upload the video again.  Here she is....Sydney's ariel !



Sydney J, or Sydney Jane as your grandma calls you....(my mom is notorious for changing the names of the people she meets to fit her liking :) 

1st grade has been such a struggle for you.   Not in the learning sense of it, but getting there has been SUPER hard for you (physically) and there have been a few "incidents" at school involving other kids.   
I talked to the teacher about this early on.    I thought maybe something was happening to you, making you unhappy at school.  
Your teacher said that you were doing great.   You have gotten 100% on all of your spelling tests,  you do your work when asked, you really stepped up with the new kid, helping him feel welcome and getting acclimated to his new class.   We've had 3 shout out letters home from the principal letting us know that you did something above and beyond.  Other than the umbrella thing and pushing the girl in the lunch line, you seem fine.   Yet you continue to tell me that you hate school and that you don't want to go anymore.  

Sydney, trying to get you out the door in the morning is a joke.  You tell me that your socks bother you, that your shirt bothers you that your boots feel weird.   You insist on wearing your pants over your boots which is hard because you are now wearing snow boots which are extremely big and bulky.   You will rip anything that might feel "weird" to you off of your body...including said socks, shirt, boots.  and pants have been a huge issue this year too.    You seem to be between sizes and either they feel too tight or they are too loose.   You rip them off and throw them to the floor as well.     Refusing to ever wear them again.  and I have yet to get you to wear them again. 
I'm exhausted...physically and emotionally by the time you leave for school (sometimes late) and I'm sure you are too.

I've heard this is normal, because of all of the changes from kindergarten to 1st grade.  
I sure hope that 2nd grade is easier on us you....cause girl....I don't know what I'll do with you if this continues through the next 11 grades.

It breaks my heart  that you are so frustrated, angry and sad.   That you are struggling    I get so frustrated myself that I end up yelling and fighting with you which then makes you sad and then I feel terrible sending you to school feeling bad.   We need to figure out how to get you on your way to school happy and excited.

Sydney says

Sydney : Mom, me and Jesus are a lot alike because both of our birthdays fall on a holiday !
Me : Wow, that is pretty cool.   You know, Christmas is a holiday because it is Jesus's birthday. right ?
Sydney : yeah, my birthday is March 17th which is St. Patricks day.  and Jesus's birthday is on Christmas.  So we are like the same kind of...just different Holidays. 

Sydney watched Mommy J pack her suitcase for a business trip.  
I noticed this a couple of days later.    Sydney's pajama drawer.   Really utilizing the space, aye ?





You are such a smart, sweet, strong, kind, caring and sensitive little person Syd.   You have so many amazing qualities with tons of potential.   I'm grateful for you every second of every day.
I love you baby girl.   More than you could ever imagine possible.  ever.

And to think that when we started this whole gymnastics thing a couple of years ago, all she wanted to do was learn how to do a cartwheel.   
Now she's doing them with no hands.

Syd had her Christmas gymnastics performance tonight.    I forgot the camera.  :)   (which technically is ok because the pictures turn out all blury and dark and you can't tell which one is her...but still...I would have liked to taken a few before and afters)

I made her do a few when we got home in her costume and I captured it on the camcorder...but for some reason I can't get it to load.   I will work on that and add it later.
For now, here are a few cool pictures of Syd doing an ariel (no handed cartwheel).    She made me take several because she wanted to make sure she was smiling :) ha ha ha

I liked the lighting motion in this shot.



Yes Syd, you are smiling.

If you have a papa that loves you with all of his heart...this is what he brings you after your performance.

Perfectly pink and packed with sparkles.    Syd loved them almost as much as she loves her papa.

Me and my mom and Syd went to see the Radio City Music Spectacular starring the Rockettes.
Tickets weren't cheap.   Driving was MISERABLE and very scary.   Lost the van.  (and did I mention it was cold and snowy)
TOTALLY worth it.
SUCH a great show.   I had no idea what to expect and after the 2nd song my mom and I looked at each other and said, worth every cent.
It's been a dream of mine to be a Rockette....ever since watching the movie Annie.   well, once I figured out that I couldn't be Annie.
And then of course I just dreamed of seeing them live.
I can now check that off of my bucket list.

Wordless Wednesday

Hi, yes, this is Karen.

I'd like to let you know that I won't be at work today.    I'm not feeling well so if you could please send in a replacement I would appreciate it.

I was able to get a replacement 2 hrs before I stop my full time job and job share with the other mom.
The other mom came home to relieve me.    Since there is 5 of them and today only 1 1/2 of us....I was still technically at work.

Today I put Syd's gate up on my door and turned on fern gully.   I figured that if they were locked in the room with me they could only do minimal damage.
Cam had to go to the bathroom and I mentioned that he could just use mine because I didn't want to get up and open the gate and wait and open the gate to let him back in.  The up and down motion that would require was enough to make me sick.

At some point after that I woke up, Nathan was quietly sleeping next to me.   The gate was still closed and both big boys were quietly watching Fern Gully.    Ryan.  Where's Ryan ?  Ryan was busy.  and we all know that when Ryan has been busy, there will usually be a bath involved.   Today....this was his second bath.   The first was pump soap all over in his and his brothers hair.
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This is mainly toothpaste.   The cheeks are a combination of lipstick and eyeliner.  YOU DO NOT LOOK PRETTY !

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List : my make up was mostly destroyed.  Lotion.  Hair stuff.  MY YAM CREAM...DO YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF MOMMY DOESN'T USE HER YAM CREAM.  tampon.  clippers.  I repeat, CLIPPERS.  thankfully not used. probably because he was too busy pouring out a 30.00 bottle of face stuff that I have.  URGH !  and his sisters curling iron.  which he didn't plug in. 

Yo, Bro....next time...please remember to close the bathroom door when you are done.

I guess next time....I will have to put a gate up at the door and then another one 2 feet from the entrance and then 2 on either sides and probably one on top.    Basically I need a 4x4 dog kennel and then this kind of stuff wouldn't happen.   oh.  and also I need to not sleep on the job. ;-)

Ryan Ryan bo byan banana fana fo fyan me my mom myan Ryan

You are by far everyone's favorite little person.   That curly hair and those long eye lashes and who can resist those dimples.    
I've often told stories of the naughtiness that runs through your blood.    I don't think anybody believes me.   I often hear, "oh please...this sweet boy" as your outstretched arms reach for the person questioning me.   A flashy smile and your head placed ever so gently on their shoulder has them wrapped and leaves me looking like a heartless and crazy mother.
I suppose what they don't know won't hurt them.   What I know however could be read at campfires late at night to scare the living crap out of any parent or child care personnel.    I could write manuals for planned parenthood and could promise a 75% increase on condom usage.   Just the pictures I've taken alone could slow down population in this nation of ours.

There is no limit to your destruction.    You will empty drawers full of freshly folded and put away clothing.   You empty shoes and drag them through the house.    The stairs seem to be a portal to some unknown place for you because you throw everything down them.   Toys, puzzles, clean and dirty dish towels, silverware, markers, vacuum attachments, office chairs, shoes, clean and dirty clothes, keyboards, books and remote controls....just to name a few.
EVERY drawer in the kitchen is now equipped with a childproof lock and I thought it was bad before.  but somehow...those skinny little arms are able to reach into the tiniest crooks and cracks to grab something out of a cabinet or drawer.  
I've actually caught you shoulder deep under the sink.....one skinny little arm.....and in it you've managed to grab the windex, unable to pull the bottle out you sit spraying inside the locked cabinet, the disposal.....a bottle of dish detergent....paper towels to be used with said windex....my dish washing gloves....anything that is stored under the sink gets a nice coat of windex....all because of that 2 inch gap in the child proof lock.

We have tried to lock up the fridge and dishwasher to no avail.   You and your brother are lock experts I swear.   Once in the appliance you pull out gallons of milk, sandwich meat and I caught you cap off and ready to dump a huge bottle of apple juice onto my couch a few days ago.    
Knives and pizza cutters are another fascination.    Today I caught you running the edge of the pizza cutter along the kitchen table and chairs.  Nice.

You love to take your diaper off.   Whether it's wet or poopy determines if you just leave it where it is or fling it, dance in it and bring it to me.
Speaking of poop....you are DRAWN to dog poop.   I haven't figured out whether you are trying to clean it up...or if you do just in fact like to play in it.   You've never met a pile that you haven't tried to touch.   Sometimes you'll just stick a finger in it....sometimes you'll grab a handful.     You have cured me of my disgust for dog poop.    I can now scrub your hands with my bare hands.   I can use the hose to spray off the bottoms of your shoes and can pick up wet and even runny fresh poop....JUST so that you don't have a chance at playing in it.  

Today you pulled down a full loaf of bread.   You took a bite out of maybe 3 pieces, fed 3 to the dog and left another 5 pieces on the floor.
You took chopsticks and played in the toilet with them...up to your elbows.    You put homemade play dough in your brothers backpack.   You fed the dog 1/2 of your lunch and shook your sippy of milk as hard as you could to get milk all over the carpet and also on your shirt and pants.  You played in the sugar like it was a sandbox and wiped your toothbrush full of toothpaste on my bed.
The worst was yet to come....and I took a picture of it and will include it for those who can't imagine...or still don't believe.

I call you Nightmare on Elm street and little trouble Maker most of the time.
You truly are my hardest child yet.  That you have a twin who usually jumps right in (yes Nathan...I'm not leaving you out of this....I just didn't get a cute picture of you today) makes it almost impossible most days.

But then. you look up at me....with those long eyelashes, flash me that extra sweet smile with those perfectly placed dimples and I can't help but pick you up and cuddle and squeeze your guts out.
You have such charisma and a great sense of humor already.   You make me laugh with your little antics and the stuff that you try to do and even the stuff that you don't try to do.   
You can be very laid back and easy going......your preference is to be in someone's lap.   
Everyone fights to sit by you, whether it be at the kitchen table or in the car.    I guess that says something about the person you are.    Easy to love.   Easy to forgive.   It's a good damn thing son.......because without those qualities.....you'd have been dropped off at a safe haven long ago.  :)
I love you buddy.   NOW STAY OUT OF TROUBLE FOR HELL SAKES !



To label a few of the items in the pile : Rock salt, bird feed, potting soil and insect killer.   Also, sprinkler supplies and dog washing supplies.   If you look reeeeally hard, you'll notice a dark area in front of Savanah (small A van-ah) the potting soil and also bird seed were dumped there as well. 

because you are unable to see the bag at this angle.

And there it sits.  The child proof lock.    We have NO IDEA how they managed to get it off.   and typing this, I have no idea how I'm going to keep them out of it tomorrow.  For the love.



maybe 15 minutes after the above incident.  MAYBE.
The good news was.  J was at a viewing for her Aunt who passed away.   So after I bathed both babies....got jammies on everyone....read books and put everyone to sleep....she was home.  JUST in time to clean up the garage :)
WHAT ?  She offered.   So she cleaned up while I downloaded pictures and wrote this post.  Someone's gotta keep track of this stuff.    



yip.  I'm wrapped.  not mad.  not even a little bit.   I LOVE this kid.