I've often told stories of the naughtiness that runs through your blood. I don't think anybody believes me. I often hear, "oh please...this sweet boy" as your outstretched arms reach for the person questioning me. A flashy smile and your head placed ever so gently on their shoulder has them wrapped and leaves me looking like a heartless and crazy mother.
I suppose what they don't know won't hurt them. What I know however could be read at campfires late at night to scare the living crap out of any parent or child care personnel. I could write manuals for planned parenthood and could promise a 75% increase on condom usage. Just the pictures I've taken alone could slow down population in this nation of ours.
There is no limit to your destruction. You will empty drawers full of freshly folded and put away clothing. You empty shoes and drag them through the house. The stairs seem to be a portal to some unknown place for you because you throw everything down them. Toys, puzzles, clean and dirty dish towels, silverware, markers, vacuum attachments, office chairs, shoes, clean and dirty clothes, keyboards, books and remote controls....just to name a few.
EVERY drawer in the kitchen is now equipped with a childproof lock and I thought it was bad before. but somehow...those skinny little arms are able to reach into the tiniest crooks and cracks to grab something out of a cabinet or drawer.
I've actually caught you shoulder deep under the sink.....one skinny little arm.....and in it you've managed to grab the windex, unable to pull the bottle out you sit spraying inside the locked cabinet, the disposal.....a bottle of dish detergent....paper towels to be used with said windex....my dish washing gloves....anything that is stored under the sink gets a nice coat of windex....all because of that 2 inch gap in the child proof lock.
We have tried to lock up the fridge and dishwasher to no avail. You and your brother are lock experts I swear. Once in the appliance you pull out gallons of milk, sandwich meat and I caught you cap off and ready to dump a huge bottle of apple juice onto my couch a few days ago.
Knives and pizza cutters are another fascination. Today I caught you running the edge of the pizza cutter along the kitchen table and chairs. Nice.
You love to take your diaper off. Whether it's wet or poopy determines if you just leave it where it is or fling it, dance in it and bring it to me.
Speaking of poop....you are DRAWN to dog poop. I haven't figured out whether you are trying to clean it up...or if you do just in fact like to play in it. You've never met a pile that you haven't tried to touch. Sometimes you'll just stick a finger in it....sometimes you'll grab a handful. You have cured me of my disgust for dog poop. I can now scrub your hands with my bare hands. I can use the hose to spray off the bottoms of your shoes and can pick up wet and even runny fresh poop....JUST so that you don't have a chance at playing in it.
Today you pulled down a full loaf of bread. You took a bite out of maybe 3 pieces, fed 3 to the dog and left another 5 pieces on the floor.
You took chopsticks and played in the toilet with them...up to your elbows. You put homemade play dough in your brothers backpack. You fed the dog 1/2 of your lunch and shook your sippy of milk as hard as you could to get milk all over the carpet and also on your shirt and pants. You played in the sugar like it was a sandbox and wiped your toothbrush full of toothpaste on my bed.
The worst was yet to come....and I took a picture of it and will include it for those who can't imagine...or still don't believe.
I call you Nightmare on Elm street and little trouble Maker most of the time.
You truly are my hardest child yet. That you have a twin who usually jumps right in (yes Nathan...I'm not leaving you out of this....I just didn't get a cute picture of you today) makes it almost impossible most days.
But then. you look up at me....with those long eyelashes, flash me that extra sweet smile with those perfectly placed dimples and I can't help but pick you up and cuddle and squeeze your guts out.
You have such charisma and a great sense of humor already. You make me laugh with your little antics and the stuff that you try to do and even the stuff that you don't try to do.
You can be very laid back and easy going......your preference is to be in someone's lap.
Everyone fights to sit by you, whether it be at the kitchen table or in the car. I guess that says something about the person you are. Easy to love. Easy to forgive. It's a good damn thing son.......because without those qualities.....you'd have been dropped off at a safe haven long ago. :)
I love you buddy. NOW STAY OUT OF TROUBLE FOR HELL SAKES !
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| To label a few of the items in the pile : Rock salt, bird feed, potting soil and insect killer. Also, sprinkler supplies and dog washing supplies. If you look reeeeally hard, you'll notice a dark area in front of Savanah (small A van-ah) the potting soil and also bird seed were dumped there as well. |
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| because you are unable to see the bag at this angle. |
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| And there it sits. The child proof lock. We have NO IDEA how they managed to get it off. and typing this, I have no idea how I'm going to keep them out of it tomorrow. For the love. |
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| maybe 15 minutes after the above incident. MAYBE. The good news was. J was at a viewing for her Aunt who passed away. So after I bathed both babies....got jammies on everyone....read books and put everyone to sleep....she was home. JUST in time to clean up the garage :) WHAT ? She offered. So she cleaned up while I downloaded pictures and wrote this post. Someone's gotta keep track of this stuff. |
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| yip. I'm wrapped. not mad. not even a little bit. I LOVE this kid. |
